personal reflection on mindfulness
Sometimes I wonder if becoming a mother made me less mindful.
Not because I stopped caring. Actually, it feels like the opposite. I care so much that my mind is almost always somewhere else.
Before becoming a mother, I could sit down and enjoy a cup of tea. I could watch the rain, finish a meal slowly, read something without interruption, or simply do nothing for a few minutes. I felt that I was living in a life!
Now, even when I sit down, my mind is still running and feel like restless.
Did my child eat enough?
Is he sleeping properly?
Where did he put that toy?
Did I pack everything for daycare?
Is he getting sick again?
What should I cook for dinner?
Those thousands of questions run inside my head, So, there are times I forget to ask myself one simple question:
How am I doing? What am I doing right now?
Motherhood Makes You Live in the Next Moment
One thing I noticed after becoming a mother is that I rarely stay completely in the present. I gained the amazing ability of shifting thoughts from one to another in a jiffy,
When my toddler is eating, I might already be thinking about his bath.
When he is playing, I might be thinking about dinner.
When he is sleeping, I might finally start doing the things I couldn’t finish while he was awake.
Even during beautiful moments, part of my mind is preparing for what comes next.
It isn’t intentional. It just happens.
If you’ve ever read this articles, you probably know that I’ve been a multitasker since my teenage years. But after becoming a mother, I feel like I’m switching from one task to another much faster than before. It is a kind of blessing but at some point, it misses myself.
Motherhood seems to train your brain to constantly scan the surroundings—what the baby needs, what could go wrong, what needs to be done next.
And sometimes, in trying to take care of everything, I forget to actually experience the moment I’m living.
I Started Realising It in Small Moments
I noticed it one day while my toddler was playing.
He was happily playing with his toys, he is completely absorbed in his little world, there are such times too, haha!
I was sitting nearby, but my mind was somewhere else.
I was thinking about what I needed to cook, something I had to clean, a message I hadn’t answered, and a few other things that suddenly seemed very important.
Then I looked at him.
He was laughing at something so simple.
And I realised that I was physically there, but mentally I wasn’t.
That moment stayed with me.
I didn’t need to entertain him or take a photograph.
I didn’t need to turn it into a memory for social media.
I just needed to be there.
Maybe We Don’t Lose Mindfulness—Maybe Our Attention Gets Divided
I don’t think motherhood completely takes away our mindfulness, but it simply divide our attention.
Before children, our thoughts belong mostly to ourselves.
After children, there is another little person constantly occupying a corner of our mind. Even when they are not beside us, we are thinking about them.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong with us. It means motherhood is mentally demanding.
But I also think we need to find our way back to ourselves sometimes.
Not for hours.
Not through expensive self-care routines me time. It might not be able to do my previous activities that I did in my me time, but till this busy passes, even just minutes are worthy.
My Practical Way of Becoming Present Again
Here is my simple tips
Put the phone down for a few minutes
When my child is playing, I sometimes put my phone away.
Not every time. I’m not trying to become a perfect mother.
But when I do it, I notice more.
The little sounds he makes.
The way he plays.
The funny expressions on his face.
The things he is learning.
Those ordinary moments are actually the moments I don’t want to miss.
Drink something slowly
Sometimes I make tea or coffee and deliberately try to drink it while it is still warm.
No scrolling. No multitasking. Just drinking it.
It sounds ridiculously simple, but when your day is full of doing things for everyone else, even that can feel like a small pause.
Stop trying to photograph everything
As a mother, I sometimes feel the urge to capture every cute moment.
But occasionally I remind myself:
I don’t have to photograph this moment to prove that it happened.
Sometimes I can simply watch.
The memory can stay in my mind.
Give myself permission to do one thing at a time
This is probably the hardest one. I used to think multitasking was the only way to survive motherhood. But sometimes doing five things at once only makes me feel exhausted.
So when possible, I try to finish one small thing before jumping to another.
Feed the baby.
Then clean.
Then rest.
Not everything has to happen simultaneously.
Notice my own feelings
I also try to ask myself:
Am I tired?
Am I hungry?
Am I overwhelmed?
Do I need some quiet time?
These questions sound basic, but mothers can become so focused on their children that they forget they have needs too.
Mindfulness Doesn’t Have to Look Perfect
I used to think mindfulness meant sitting quietly for twenty minutes, meditating, having a perfectly peaceful morning, and somehow clearing my mind completely.
Motherhood taught me that mindfulness can look very different.
It can be sitting beside your child while he plays.
It can be noticing the sunlight coming through the window.
It can be eating your lunch instead of finishing your child’s leftovers.
It can be taking three deep breaths before responding to a stressful situation.
It can even be standing in the kitchen for a moment and thinking:
I’m here. I’m okay. This is my life right now.
That’s enough.
I Am Still Learning
I don’t think I have found the perfect balance.
Some days I am very present.
Other days my mind is everywhere.
Some days I enjoy motherhood deeply.
Other days I am simply trying to get through the day.
And I think that’s okay.
Being mindful doesn’t mean being calm and present every minute.
Maybe it simply means noticing when we’ve drifted away—and gently coming back. Motherhood has changed the way I experience time.
The days can feel long, especially when you’re tired. But somehow the months disappear. That’s why I’m trying to remind myself to look up from the endless list of things that need to be done.
My child won’t always be this small.
The toys won’t always be scattered across the floor.
The little hands won’t always reach for mine in the same way.
So, whenever I can, I want to slow down.
Not perfectly. Just a little.
Because perhaps mindfulness after motherhood isn’t about finding the old version of yourself again.
Perhaps it’s about learning to be present as the new version of yourself. How do you feel about mindfulness after being a mom?
