When people ask me if my marriage was a love marriage or an arranged marriage.
When I say “arranged,” with full of happy and satisfied face, I usually see their eyebrows rise just a little.
As if that one word explains everything about my story. And above all It is 21st century! Haha!
But their raised eyebrows made no sense for me, because I am living in that arranged marriage almost three years.
I didn’t fall in love in a coffee shop. It was a long distance relationship, If I be frank to you, we were living almost 6800Km. How do you feel?
Instead of coffee dates and physical touch, we had profound and beautiful conversations.
Yes, I had many questions at first. Could this work? I had never met him in person. Yes, I took a risk. Would he be my match? How would we be physically together? You know — the common questions that dance through a girl’s mind.
But slowly, quietly, it worked, our conversations grew profoundly. We were solving most of our mismatchs with a good understanding by then.
In an arranged marriage, people assume you don’t get a choice.
But the truth is, you do — you just make that choice differently. Understating the marriage is the key.
I chose him not because my heart was already overflowing, but because something about him felt steady.
I chose him because he listened.
Because he respected me.
Because I could imagine a future where we grew instead of competed. how he spoke about my dreams, how safe I felt being myself around him.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been if I had chosen my partner through passion instead of patience.
But then I look at what we have — the trust, the comfort, the shared plans — and I realize something important:
Love doesn’t only begin before marriage.
Sometimes, it begins because of it.
So yes, my marriage was arranged by our families. But my love for him?
That part was entirely mine.
How about your Marriage?
