Becoming an adult with years could be easy but behaving according to it is not as easy as you think. When we were kids, those who were in their 40s or maybe in 50, or 60s of their lives were considered as the perfect kind figures. We were asking for things which is not affordable, we expected our parents to be with us always, there was no single idea about the things they were dealing with. They are the superheroes, nothing can go wrong with them, that was the way we thought. Is anyone out of this thinking club? If you are one of them. What a genius you are!!
But then as always “Time and growth” teach us the best lessons. When you become an adult, you know how far you have to go. It is not just a role as a Mom and Dad. You are expected to cover up a whole lot while struggling with your inner child. Balancing relationships, dealing with failures and heartbreaking incidents, and acting like you are perfectly fine in front of your loved ones, non of these are easy at all.
Now we think, how hard was it? Confined to the concept of 100% perfect human beings. It is not fair at all. Now I feel it was something putting a free man into a lifetime jail. You ask to sacrifice all their life on behalf of them.
Sometimes this experience might be a little bit different from the Western culture. As a person who originally came from Asia, I experienced this as a common matter in an Asian family. Parents, hardly make memories alone. The child is always included in their circle. Many parents see it as a blessing, of course, it is a blessing. But the truth is both adults miss their world as a couple. Both miss their lives as individual personalities most of the times.
BY MY TEENS …
As mentioned earlier, “Time and growth” teach us the best lessons. By the time I understood how hard they were playing. They had to bury, “the child” inside their souls, and their feelings as a couple and as a person. This mind-blowing thought made me to work on it. I started earning not 100% but I could cover most of my expenses and I am sure that, It was a great relief for them. Dealing with my things in my own style became my life style and I always wanted to offer them a chance to be together. Facilitating in trips, offering surprises on their special days, keeping their faces full of happiness became part of my life. I thought those simple gestures helped me lot in easing the burden they have been carrying over their shoulders for years.
OUR RELATIONSHIP IS POSITIVELY EVOLVING
By the time I understood that my relationship with my parents completely evolved positively. I know they make mistakes, they have the right to be messy, and they have the right to be afraid. Whatever the role they are playing they are still struggling to play as “perfect parents”. At the point of becoming an adult myself, I knew that I was not cool enough as I expected to be. But my parents played better than I am playing now.
I now understand, that becoming an adult and acting according to it is one of the most difficult tasks in the world. You have to have a big heart to accept your parents as they are. This world is in shortage of big hearts.
